I'm so glad I wasn't blind when I gave the last little thing that was mine. 

""

"I felt like we were about to explore my same old places 
in a way that might make them feel new."

Why I'm here, and you're there.

I really wish I had a good explanation for this. I wish I understood. You deserve to be here. You would make so much more of this than I. Why did you have to leave, and not me. I wan’t to believe you’re in a better place, but some days my faith lacks so much it’s hard to imagine you’re anywhere else but buried in the ground. It makes no sense why you’re there, wherever there is, and i’m here, not making anything of this. 

Spend less time focussing on other people's bullshit and more time accepting your own. 

Lately I feel weird. 
Good weird and bad weird. 
I have a new perspective on things.
 In all honesty I never thought I would think like this, needless to say I like it. 
I'm more accepting of myself and others. 
I'm now trying to understand and accept how we act, how we feel, and how we live. 

I'm overwhelmed.

The future freaks me out. Hell even right now scares me. 
I don't know what to do, let alone what I am doing. 
People make me crazy, I make myself crazy. 

unexpected and simple

It's unsettling when you realize how easy things can be taken from you. Thinking you have a hold on something/someone is foolish because in just seconds something could happen that can change you and your life forever. You can never be sure of anything really. I think it's a really uncomfortable but necessary topic to get on, when you think about it. 

"If I didn't know any better, I would say falling in-love was the best/worst thing that has ever happened to me."

"I want the part of you that you refuse to give.”

—	Ellen Hopkins

The things you want but don't need, the things you need but no longer want.

such a beautiful love.

i haven't visited your grave since the day you went away.
 i'm scared you'll be ashamed of who i am now.

I'm that person everyone replaces after awhile.

i think i'm just tired of feeling the same continuous feelings

 i just want to lose all comfort for a day and see where it could take me 

something new, something out there, something free

we don't need to rely on certain people and certain places to feel safe,

yet we're constantly doing it anyway.

i miss you.

i miss every inch of you.
from the feel of your skin, to the sound of your voice.
ineedyousomuchcloser

ineedyousomuchcloser

ineedyousomuchcloser

ineedyousomuchcloser

ineedyousomuchcloser

searching for things that will put myself at ease. 

i adore the way we lose sleep, and how you always keep so calm. 
i adore your crooked ears and the way we get along.

i longue d'une voix que l'habitude se fanent à la fin de la journée.

"my tea-his coffee"
i really need more mornings similar to this.

stay.

stay.

stay.

stay.

stay.

the comfort in knowing someone feels the same beats knowing if things will change.

i almost felt secure.
the truth is i'm scared i'll be forgotten the way i've forgotten others.
i'm small and insignificant and i rarely make that much of an impact on anyone really.
i'd do anything for anyone if they needed, but it's never enough. i can never be enough.

my heads a mess
i’m a mess
everything’s a mess

i put myself in terrible situations to try and figure out why i'm so afraid.

where you are is exactly where i need to be

i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

the aches and pains never seem to go away.

i don't just want one good day, i want good days.

 this isn't living, i'm not well. 

that something that always made me feel free, i now have to let be.
i just really, really don't want to feel.

i'm terrified
i'm terrified
i'm terrified
i'm terrified
i'm terrified

british columbia, i miss you so.

 my issue about religion amung several other things is that i'm so unsure about everything i can't commit to anything that in any way confuses me.

our time is ephemeral.

but i need it to be infinite. 

“I am a jumble of passions, misgivings, and wants. It seems that I am always in a state of wishing and rarely in a state of contentment.”

—	Libba Bray, The Sweet Far Thing

patience.

“it is always the simple things that change our lives. and these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. you feel like running, but life is on a stroll.”

- donald miller

it's what you've become, and it's what you will stay.

you're a different kind of different.

you seem to speak about thing i've never heard anyone else mention.

you're simple yet complicated, to the point where it's incredible.

you're that person i can be with, but not necessarily be with and yet feel so complete.

you're just what i need.

my head is an awful mess

 erase the past, erase the bad, erase the ugly.
i don't want to worry, or regret, or feel sick to my stomach when i think about what was done. 

let's sift through the static

to find a simpler sound

i need to get out of here

i need to find a place were communication is key, and everyone's honest, and everyone can see.

i suppose i'm just awful

i'm glad i learnt to separate the things i believe and the things i want to believe.

where have you been? where are you? where would you like to be?

time will fly by, when you arive; it’ll be the first time in months i’ve felt alive

i only know that i am better where you are.

i just want to say thank you.

thank you for showing me some simple things are really just that, simple. thank you for showing me that a person that's so seemingly kind is really just that, kind. and thank you for just letting me enter that lovely little world of yours. 

a

i suppose i'll admit that adapting and accepting change, is harder than i would have ever imagined...

this is all far too time consuming.

this.

i wish i could feel what i once felt,

and see things through the eyes i once had.

i used to adore hearing the word forever strewn into a sentence, and now i hate it. 

i wish i could believe in something so infinite but i just can't and i've woken up crying because I couldn't

it's not that i find it a lie when people recite the word, but i don't think i'm the only one that has a tough time believing in it either.

"i think the worst thing about being sad is when you stop paying attention to the beauty in everything. you walk down the street and point out the cracks in the pavement and barely take time to notice the seasons change. i think the best part about being sad is when things start to look up again and everything seems far more beautiful than ever before. it's incredible, really."

I keep trying to give out positive energy and wish for hopeful outcomes, but I don't believe any of it.
I swear I've lost faith in all things good and i'm awfully worried about what's going to happen next.

I try to be happy and hopeful and care free, but i'm more terrified and doubtful then ever.

"your entire existance gives me hope that there's a lot more people out there like you,
and thats a great thing."

temporary, it's all just so temporary it scares me.

i suppose i'll be the first one to admit it.

truth is, i'm still no good.

noones good.

nothings good.

it's simple, really.

"secrets between friends, and secrets within those friends; i trust noone, i love noone, i would talk to noone if i wouldn't feel lonely."

i don't really feel much of anything anymore.

i'm empty, i'm cold, but i'm fine here.
"i'm selfish enough to wanna get better but backwards enough to not take the steps to get there."

sometimes i second guess this, but you seem like the type to stay.
none of this is simple, but i wouldn't want it any other way.

we just wan't to feel alive again, all of us.

i'll never make the whole world shine for you, i won't be the one to make you feel less alone.

i can feel it in the air i breathe and the wind that brushes against me;

i can hear it from the buzzing bees and the whispers of the trees;

i can see it in the beauty all around me, i can see it in you and me;

i know her soft gentle heart's still beating, she's the angel that surrounds me.

i hate to say it but your house smells like autumn, and it feels like home to me.

i miss you like october when the ground is drenched in snow, because in the winter

we're all so lonely.

i'm quick to judge and critize, it's a talent of mine i've come to dispise.

when i feel weak or threatened i can't help but block myself out and put up these walls of mine;

the sarcasm in my voice, is a misfortunate disguise.

i shake and i tremble, i'm dyeing here none the less.

i don't need you, i don't need this.

i'm sorry for the blunt truth, but love is something i lack,

truth is never honest, i'll always watch my back.

i've mastered the art of missing you.

my faith isn't your faith but i pray for you to be faithful too,

my love isn't your love but i hope you'll be loving too,

my view of perfection may not be your perfect;

but you'll always be perfect to me, i pray i'm your perfect too.

you'll always be my lovely.

"you promised you would stay, while they promised they would stay."

"leaves are changing you,
the weather is changing you,

you said i am changing too;

it's that time of year again,

autumn is here again."

i'm realizing how simple everything is, how delicate everything is, how beautiful everything is, just how perfect everything is.
"baby i just need you by my side, to have and to hold,

i know it's getting old, but i can't stop dreaming of you."

eventually i need you to realize it too, because nothing is perfect unless it's perfect for you.

"please tell me you'll never leave and please don't fall asleep

'cause i'm afraid that this dream could turn into a nightmare, if i wake up tomorrow and you're not there."

just promise me you'll stay, let me know if things aren't okay, because i need this to be perfect, because no matter what they say you'll always be worth it.

i believe you're in a better place,

though i miss being in the presence of your suddle grace.

years pass, months pass, days pass, and i know i'm not alone.

you're where you need to be, though we'll all miss you back home.

rest in peace, my dearly beloved.

i felt you in my life just yesterday, now it feels as if your a million miles away.

i would fix you if i could, love you cause i should, but your to far to reach.

it's hard to let you in when youre holding back so much.

it's hard to say i need you by my side again, when your blocking me out.

just know i'm still here, and know i still care, but i just wish you would realise so much.

there was a time where we'd lay, and talk, and breathe together. touch, and feel, and love eachother. hope and pray, and wish for the better. there was a time i just wish i know longer remembered.

i hate being so fragile, so weak, so small, so defenceless.

i hate being so numb, and so afraid.

i hate the fact noone can stay, and nothings okay.

i hate the fact things wont change.

i hate hiding behind the walls i've built,

i hate hiding within the lies you've told.

i hate the fact noone can stay, and nothings okay.

i hate the fact things wont change.

i hate not knowing what to do.

i hate all the things i've put you through.

i hate the fact noone can stay, and nothings okay.

i hate the fact things wont change.

im memorable, and forgetfull. forgivable, and regretfull. loveable, and hatefull. i'm everything and nothing, because we're everything and nothing together. i'm broken down, and built right up, because were broken down, and built up together. i'm strong, and weak. i'm something you sing, and something you speak. i'm nothing and everything in your point of view. i love you, i hate you, i forgive you, i regret you, i broke you, i built you, i spoke you, i sang you,i am you.

i hide behind my safety blanket, the one i call friend,i put it in the laundry to wash away all my secrets from time and time again.i build walls up around me and refuse to let anyone in,eventually i'll assure myself this is no more then a shameless sin.

there's a star in the sky, and your voice in the clouds,though it's been over a year word of your smile could still lighten up a crowed,you've left this earth, but never fail to leave our hearts,i hope your peacefull in a place where reality ends and heaven starts.